The Winter Blues?

     Winter in Southern California is usually different than that of the rest of the country. So to be depressed in winter I would consider perfectly normal. However, when it has only rained once since December and is usually 70+ degrees everyday... One doesn't really have the excuse for the seasonal blues. I haven't been doing well, as I mentioned in my last personal post. I officially quit Costco in December. Motivated and hopeful that I would find a job right away.
     Well.. It's now Febuary. I have had a couple calls for interviews and I just haven't been in the right mind to go. I've gained a lot of weight in the last year or so and while this is a contributing factor I don't think it's the main reason. I just haven't been motivated. Haven't been drawing, or singing or making as much as I'm used to. I had high hopes for this blog. To be an amazing all in one go to the blog, but like my brain, it's just a pile of jumbled mush. It kills me to get out of bed every morning so I have no idea how the hell I'm supposed to write.
     I'm trying though. My boyfriend is supportive and loving and even though I know I'm being ridiculous and he thinks I'm being ridiculous. He doesn't say anything but supportive and loving things. I have my good days and my bad days. I'm trying to read this book on depression. I was sure it wouldn't do much, but it's nice to see that I'm not alone. I can relate to others in the book and its slightly helpful. I'm trying to eat a little better and more often. I'm not used to living with someone who cooks, especially someone who cooks well. We're going to try to start walking. I want to do it in the mornings, but we'll see. I've never been too fond of exercise. That's why it's nice to have a job that makes you move.
      So this is where I am at in my life. It's surprising that I've come this long without a breakdown. With all that I've been through it has been a long awaited moment. I think that's just it too. I've always been so busy and keeping myself focused that I hadn't the time to focus on all the tragic events in my life. Now that I'm resting.. Its all coming at me.