Three months later...

I honestly forgot about starting this blog. I have great intentions on better myself but it never pans out the way I want it to. So lets see three months later. I completely weened myself off Effexor. The withdrawals were so horrid. It took a good two months to get back to feeling somewhat normal. I started using cannibas to help with my moods and make me a little more energetic. It was working pretty well. I wanted to get out and go to social gatherings. Then AH started acting out slowly, and for some reason I became obsessed with controlling the household. I started feeling better and hated the stigma of being a "stoner" so I slowly stopped taking the cannibas. Really not thinking about it and then my moods became worse and worse. We started family counseling and the whole session I had to hold back my tears from anxiety. I just hated the way I felt for days and I knew I needed to up my dose. I've completely given up on trying to find a job. I'm just trying to better myself right now.
I started a fitness program called #fitgirlsguide and I'm in my fourth week. I'm so amazed that I actually am sticking to something. I've learned that there are ups and downs and that pretty much what life is. So I can't get disappointing with myself and quit. Also you lose weight very very slowly. As one of my #fitsisters has said, "We're like little turtles". I've lost almost 8lbs. I don't notice that much of a difference, but I can see my tummy is flatter and my butt is perkier. I hoping to finish this week and start another challenge July 6th.
I was going back to community college to take a course but chickened out and dropped it. I'm not doing so well on the socializing aspect right now. Especially going out in general. I don't want to go out by myself and really don't want to speak for myself. Hoping I feel better soon.