I honestly forgot about starting this blog. I have great intentions on better myself but it never pans out the way I want it to. So lets see three months later. I completely weened myself off Effexor. The withdrawals were so horrid. It took a good two months to get back to feeling somewhat normal. I started using cannibas to help with my moods and make me a little more energetic. It was working pretty well. I wanted to get out and go to social gatherings. Then AH started acting out slowly, and for some reason I became obsessed with controlling the household. I started feeling better and hated the stigma of being a "stoner" so I slowly stopped taking the cannibas. Really not thinking about it and then my moods became worse and worse. We started family counseling and the whole session I had to hold back my tears from anxiety. I just hated the way I felt for days and I knew I needed to up my dose. I've completely given up on trying to find a job. I'm just trying to better myself right now.
I started a fitness program called #fitgirlsguide and I'm in my fourth week. I'm so amazed that I actually am sticking to something. I've learned that there are ups and downs and that pretty much what life is. So I can't get disappointing with myself and quit. Also you lose weight very very slowly. As one of my #fitsisters has said, "We're like little turtles". I've lost almost 8lbs. I don't notice that much of a difference, but I can see my tummy is flatter and my butt is perkier. I hoping to finish this week and start another challenge July 6th.
I was going back to community college to take a course but chickened out and dropped it. I'm not doing so well on the socializing aspect right now. Especially going out in general. I don't want to go out by myself and really don't want to speak for myself. Hoping I feel better soon.
I dropped this project.. like I tend to drop everything else.
It has been another year now. Things have not been much better, however, my effort is a little stronger?
In the summer of 2014 my anxiety, specifically social anxiety became so bad I refused to get out of bed or leave the house. After much convincing and many arguments my partner and I decided it was time to see a doctor. The only issue was I had medi-cal. Since I turned 26 and was no longer a functioning person in society my only option to see a doctor was a free clinic or one chosen for me by the government. I luckily found my way to a student doctor who is very helpful and caring. Like most doctors she immediately put my on Zoloft and said to see her in a month.
The Zoloft didn't work and made me gain over 30lbs. I was told to stick with it and see what happens. After three months and gradually increasing the amount of Zoloft I was maxed out and still felt like shit. I was then switched to Effexor. Let me just say, whomever invented these drugs did not ever take them themselves. Effexor is the worst drug ever invented. I feel (currently still on it) like shit on and off it. God forbid you forget a dose, but don't worry your brain will remind you. It has these pleasant sonic wave like needles it sends stabbing into your skull. Along with a fog so dense you can barley see 10 feet in front of yourself.
When I complained I was told to stick with it and that I needed to pair my medication with a therapist for better results. HA!!! Being a complying member if society I did what I was told. However, when you have zero money it makes finding a qualified therapist very difficult. the free clinics were booked with patients, and other places had a sliding scale which still charged at least $50 an hour. I somehow stumbled upon a page looking for someone who would take me. Anyone. I didn't expect to get a response, and actually forgot about it. Until two weeks later I received an email from Kristi stating that she would love to help me and only would charge $10 a session.
I never wanted to see a therapist because I don't like digging up all the emotions and feelings that I have went through. The first couple weeks were rough. Things are getting a little better. I'm not as productive as I should be. I'm supposed to be following a routine and have not been doing too well. After much convincing I decided to get my medical recommendation of medical cannabis. I don't necessarily like the high part. I feel funny, and hate being extra slow and distracted. There are different strains though and I've been looking into CBD strains that are more for pain and depression than THC.
It has been another year now. Things have not been much better, however, my effort is a little stronger?
In the summer of 2014 my anxiety, specifically social anxiety became so bad I refused to get out of bed or leave the house. After much convincing and many arguments my partner and I decided it was time to see a doctor. The only issue was I had medi-cal. Since I turned 26 and was no longer a functioning person in society my only option to see a doctor was a free clinic or one chosen for me by the government. I luckily found my way to a student doctor who is very helpful and caring. Like most doctors she immediately put my on Zoloft and said to see her in a month.
The Zoloft didn't work and made me gain over 30lbs. I was told to stick with it and see what happens. After three months and gradually increasing the amount of Zoloft I was maxed out and still felt like shit. I was then switched to Effexor. Let me just say, whomever invented these drugs did not ever take them themselves. Effexor is the worst drug ever invented. I feel (currently still on it) like shit on and off it. God forbid you forget a dose, but don't worry your brain will remind you. It has these pleasant sonic wave like needles it sends stabbing into your skull. Along with a fog so dense you can barley see 10 feet in front of yourself.
When I complained I was told to stick with it and that I needed to pair my medication with a therapist for better results. HA!!! Being a complying member if society I did what I was told. However, when you have zero money it makes finding a qualified therapist very difficult. the free clinics were booked with patients, and other places had a sliding scale which still charged at least $50 an hour. I somehow stumbled upon a page looking for someone who would take me. Anyone. I didn't expect to get a response, and actually forgot about it. Until two weeks later I received an email from Kristi stating that she would love to help me and only would charge $10 a session.
I never wanted to see a therapist because I don't like digging up all the emotions and feelings that I have went through. The first couple weeks were rough. Things are getting a little better. I'm not as productive as I should be. I'm supposed to be following a routine and have not been doing too well. After much convincing I decided to get my medical recommendation of medical cannabis. I don't necessarily like the high part. I feel funny, and hate being extra slow and distracted. There are different strains though and I've been looking into CBD strains that are more for pain and depression than THC.
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