A year later...

I dropped this project.. like I tend to drop everything else.

It has been another year now. Things have not been much better, however, my effort is a little stronger?

     In the summer of 2014 my anxiety, specifically social anxiety became so bad I refused to get out of bed or leave the house. After much convincing and many arguments my partner and I decided it was time to see a doctor. The only issue was I had medi-cal. Since I turned 26 and was no longer a functioning person in society my only option to see a doctor was a free clinic or one chosen for me by the government. I luckily found my way to a student doctor who is very helpful and caring. Like most doctors she immediately put my on Zoloft and said to see her in a month.
      The Zoloft didn't work and made me gain over 30lbs. I was told to stick with it and see what happens. After three months and gradually increasing the amount of Zoloft I was maxed out and still felt like shit. I was then switched to Effexor. Let me just say, whomever invented these drugs did not ever take them themselves. Effexor is the worst drug ever invented. I feel (currently still on it) like shit on and off it. God forbid you forget a dose, but don't worry your brain will remind you. It has these pleasant sonic wave like needles it sends stabbing into your skull. Along with a fog so dense you can barley see 10 feet in front of yourself.
     When I complained I was told to stick with it and that I needed to pair my medication with a therapist for better results. HA!!! Being a complying member if society I did what I was told. However, when you have zero money it makes finding a qualified therapist very difficult. the free clinics were booked with patients, and other places had a sliding scale which still charged at least $50 an hour. I somehow stumbled upon a page looking for someone who would take me. Anyone. I didn't expect to get a response, and actually forgot about it. Until two weeks later I received an email from Kristi stating that she would love to help me and only would charge $10 a session.
     I never wanted to see a therapist because I don't like digging up all the emotions and feelings that I have went through. The first couple weeks were rough. Things are getting a little better. I'm not as productive as I should be. I'm supposed to be following a routine and have not been doing too well. After much convincing I decided to get my medical recommendation of medical cannabis. I don't necessarily like the high part. I feel funny, and hate being extra slow and distracted. There are different strains though and I've been looking into CBD strains that are more for pain and depression than THC.